Why we cannot treat the mind with the mind alone
As a Therapeutic Coaching (TC) practitioner, my approach is informed by the work of world renowned trauma experts such as Bessel Van Der Kolk (PTSD pioneer), Stephen Porges (Polyvagal theory) and Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) with the understanding that our emotional bodies are exactly that – in our bodies and specifically, in our nervous system. When it comes to emotions and feelings, you cannot treat them with the mind alone.
Some of the theory comes from research into survivors of traumatic events. However, it is just as relevant for each and every one of us in terms of how our minor hurts and day to day tiny traumas effect our system as a whole. By the time we reach middle age, most of us have accumulated enough ‘stuff’ that it amounts to a fairly substantial load which can negatively impact us in our day to day lives. This is what we can work on together.
Here’s the science:
As mammals we share the same autonomic nervous system as other mammals: when we sense danger, we move out of ‘rest and digest’ mode, look first for social connection and if we find none, move into fight/ flight (into the sympathetic nervous system). If the danger is perceived to be life threatening, another part of the system takes over and freeze/collapse is activated. Responding in these ways to perceived danger is natural and what we are programmed to do. However, the system is also designed to return to rest/digest/ healing (back to the parasympathetic nervous system) once the danger has passed. You’ll see this is in animals when they ‘shake it off’, take some deep breaths and return to a place of ‘okay-ness’.
This is where problems arise for humans as we have a tendency to get in our own way. How? We start to engage our thinking minds and employ all sorts of tactics to divert ourselves away from feeling the feeling, because we find it uncomfortable. Instead of feeling the sensations fully and thereby processing them, we push them aside instead. In this way, traumas, whether huge or tiny, become stuck in our nervous system rather than processed and released. Instead of our systems returning to homeostasis (back to rest and digest), it can get stuck.
The potential result of all this can be an overloaded system, which is exhausting. Someone in a constant state of hyper-vigilance, complete with a system flooded with stress hormones, will generally respond more quickly and disproportionately to mildly stressful stimuli in their lives. They may also find it hard to settle down and relax. As humans, we are wired to be on the look-out for danger but there is a fine line between a healthy, normal level of awareness and feeling unsafe and anticipating attack at all times.
The other possibility is a system stuck in shutdown. This can be as a result of an unsustainable extended period of time in fight/flight, followed by a crash. If this is you, you may feel depressed or lethargic and prefer to hide away from the world. You may even experience physical pain.
Your experience might not be so severe. For many of us, it’s simply that we become focussed on suppressing our inner chaos at the expense of joy and spontaneity in our lives. You’d be amazed at how much we are all carrying around with us. Take a moment now to think back to a painful memory. Does the recollection of it still bring an emotional or physical response such as a cringe or a pang of sadness or some other emotion? If so, there’s work to be done. Consider it a bit like cleaning out all the old junk in your home….. and we know how good that feels.
Understanding our emotional bodies in this way is at the heart of therapeutic coaching practice and why we use somatic tools, rather than purely talking therapy. In our sessions, we’ll seek to spend time recognising and allowing small signs of activation, noticing sensations, feelings and thoughts and ultimately processing old, stuck emotions. Tools include EFT, breath work, mindfulness and movement to get the energy moving again and start to lighten the load. You may even feel a physical sensation as it shifts.
This forms part of the work we may do together, rather than being the full focus. The TC model includes a number of other approaches including hypnotic NLP work, talking therapy, mindfulness and coaching, meaning that sessions are tailored towards each individual client and there’s a wide range of issues we can work on.
If you’d like to find out more, book a free consultation with me.
